Ed's revenge

Was it ever worth it? At what point did it stop being worth it? When he missed his daughter being born? Maybe missing out on her first words, her growing up. How many times had he held his daughter when she was a baby. His wife was right. Its almost as if she isn’t even married to him, he might as well not even be a father.

She had cut him hard with those words. He could almost smell the alcoholic he would need to wash down her words. Might as well not even be married to him, what was that supposed to mean? So, his job took him away from his family, but he had to support them. It wasn’t like he wasn’t working. Gah, what did that woman want from him anyway? Might as well not even be married to him? Well then she might as well not even be cashing his checks, and spending his money. Damn her!

Ed slammed the empty glass down. The bartender looked at him out the corner of his eye. Even in his intoxication Ed noticed everything, it was his job to be observant. “I'm a cop!” he exclaimed at the bartender as if his title fully excused his behavior. Yet it was that very same title that kept him away from his family the most. It was the reason his wife argued with him so much. He used to think couples just fought over money but now it seems like they can argue over anything. And yet, its really about nothing, its really just about Ed not being at home.

But, he didn’t expect his wife to ask for a divorce. Its not like he was cheating on her, mistreating her. Why was she being so selfish. The words had hurt, but the paper had hurt more. It was just a simple piece of white paper he found on the kitchen table after coming home from a late night shift.

“I want a divorce.” The paper read.

Well, at least she had been honest enough to let him know. He snorted sarcastic. Then the rage came and he pounded his fist loudly on the kitchen counter. A single tear fell down his cheek.

What had his life come down to? Waking up everyday going to work for long hours to make a check and to support his family that seemed not even to love him. It was his family dammit! It was his! Why didn’t they love him? He deserved love.

What would he do without his family. His wife didn’t work, but he had no doubt that she would take the kids. That’s how the law system works in this dammed country, the women always get the kids, always. She would have to be on crack or something for him to get the kids back. He looked around the empty bar with slow blinks.

“I cant let her take my life from me. My family is all I have, its all I am living for.” he spoke to himself

And for a moment Ed saw himself ten years from now living in a small apartment, and old fat cop doing the same thing he had been doing for nearly 30 years. Just working to work, just living to work. No family no daughter no wife. He couldn’t bare the thought. Every night watching tv until he passes out. What happen? Was all the training and the work even worth it? He made himself this life just to support a family. What went wrong? Ed slowly and carefully got got down from the bar stool. The bartender silently watched him as he made his way to the door.

“Hey you're not driving home are you?”

“I'm a cop.” Ed yelled back over his shoulder dismissively waving his hand as if his title justified anything.

Ed got into his car and opened the glove box. There in his car was one of his guns. He closed his eyes hard as his hands reached for the gun. He opened his eyes and smiled at the gun, kissed it. This would be his revenge against his wife. His family wouldn’t be taken from him, he would leave his family before they could be taken. He wouldn’t be some alone old far away shadow of a man. This would be Ed's revenge.

Ed placed the gun in his mouth,and with tears rolling down his cheeks he muttered his daughters name.