At work:

As long as I continue to be an artist, (I honestly could not see myself otherwise) I know that I will have to work.

Its been disappointment that up to this point all the jobs I have had have been drains on my time and patience. I’m not sure what it makes me sound like to admit this but up to this place and time all my jobs have been beneath me. I’ll try not to get too deep into my delusions of self grandeur, but it just seems to me that I have more to offer an employer than what they are willing to paying me or allowing me to do. I’ll stop right there and get to the point. My present job. Another joke. I am employed for a few hours a day from five am to eight am. I do an honest hour worth of work from six to seven. Other wise I am reading, writing, or sleeping.

Not that this is forgivable, I cant just explain it away. I know that as the facts stand I am cheating my employer and would be fired. If the job wasn’t the only think available I would quit. I can get away with doing an hours worth of work because that’s all there is to do. To do anything else is against union rules because its above my pay grade. (I’m the lowest paid person)

A recent blizzard made me realize something. I was ordered to shovel staircases outside. I did that work for about an hour. I got paid 7.50. On the same day I shoveled neighbor’s parking spaces and got paid sometimes double that amount for a half hours work. Mind you shoveling is not the job I am paid to do. Its someone else’s and I should have gotten paid extra. (I went to management and they told me no) 7.25 an hour to shovel snow? I hardly think that is right

However this is not to complain about my low wages because as an intelligent individual once told me “Low wage is better than no wage.”

With that being said any other work has to be signed off on before I can do it. Because as I said before its above my pay grade. So how do I get away with slumping off? Easy. My job can be done in an hours time. So when I come in I take a nap. Waking up early in the morning and stumbling down the middle of the street like a zombie at four thirty in the morning leaves me sleepy when I walk through the door. So I hide out in the attic of my job for an hour and nap. After my nap I do my hours work from six to seven and at seven I’m usually done. From seven to eight I read or write (as I am doing now)

The bible says if you cant be trusted with small things how can Jesus trust you with bigger things. I think about that when I’m napping at work. I like to believe I’m doing all I can but I know that’s a lie. I want to do so much more with my life but its hard to focus on something so unchallenging.