Sitting down in front of my PC, the same PC that I had been longing for through much of my absence from my blog now seems like it is defeating me.
I sit down and I cant seem to muster the strength that I need to put my fingers to the keys, I lack the courage to write through the fear, I don’t seem to have what I need to defeat fear and write when all seems lost.
This is truly a learning experience for me, giving up and not trying to control everything around me. Not trying to think 5 years ahead and plan my exact location at any given date. As much as I am exaggerating my previous sentence it rings with much truth.
It is because I don’t see where any of this is going, it is because that I doubt that this will be fruitful that I have trouble committing myself to a lot of things. I need to see the bigger picture before I take the first step. I recall Dr. Martin Luther Kings words. “Faith is taking the first step without seeing the entire stairwell.”
I can almost hear God asking me, slightly frustrated, “Why don’t you trust me?”
Who can answer a question like that?
God needs to come rescue me before I defeat myself.
About Me
- S.R. Alexander
- Washington DC, United States
- Following the footsteps of literary greats, I use a pen name in replace of my birth name. It is not that I am ashamed of my work, and thus put a pseudo name in front of it, but rather that I need the freedom to speak without the worries of my fame or infamy disrupting the peace of my private life. In short I am Clark Kent and Alexander is Superman.