For now I am a lazy boy

“For now I’m just a lazy boy day dreamin in my lazy boy”

I know I am my worst critic. After I write something I always ask myself what the point was and what I was trying to say with my effort. If I can’t answer the question then I don’t release it. The past month I have asked what the point of several of the pieces I have released was. I came up with the answer that I was in the middle of finding myself and achieving my dream. It seems that last year my pieces were all about facing my inner demons and taking hold of a dream I had. Now it seems my pieces are more about who I want to be in my dream. To me it seems the next logical step would be me achieving that dream. I am my worst critic and I pretend to myself that somewhere on the internet someone reads my work and thinks just as I do. After every piece they mutter “Just do it already!” That’s how I feel. I need to just do it already. Talking about it, writing about it, that’s all fine and well. I need to step up and step into it.

I cannot even pretend that I know the pieces I will write in the future, but I know I will write. I know I will write pieces that I want to have copy written and published, efforts I want to turn into contests, pieces I will write for other artists. I will write things I cannot share on the internet, I will write pieces I don’t want to share on the internet. In my head I have the belief that I will write less and less ‘free pieces’ to be shared with others and more and more ‘specific pieces’ efforts that are part of a book or for a larger project later on. I don’t know what the future holds but I know enough to know that my writings will be more personal and focused on my career. I have given much thought to the quote shared with me. “Begin doing what you want now. We are not living in eternity we have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand- and melting like a snowflake”

With that in mind I lock myself away in my dark room with the plan of bettering my words with education, life, and experience. This is not to say I wont ever post again, I wouldn’t dream it. But I feel they may be few and far between. I don’t even think myself important enough to announce a leave of absence but I am thinking of one person in particular who would wonder about my absence. So with that in mind…

I must let the few of you that follow my work know that I will be absent, pursuing my dream.

“Begin doing what you want now…”