I am at a weird point in my life..

I am at a weird point in my life where looking over my work depresses me. What does that mean? I can pile napkins with small scribbling on them in a gym bag and every handful of napkins saddens me.

I can understand it, show me the men who have a gym bag full of napkins of writing and I can show you a great artist. That’s what it means to me. The bag is like treasure chest. I stick my hand in and take out a napkin, read it to myself, and I know I have something priceless but I don’t know how to use it.

I am sad because oh well I suppose because I am sitting on gold and don’t know how to spend it.

I don’t count myself a ‘superstitious’ or ‘religious’ man, however I do believe in God. There have been a few times in my life that I cannot remember but I’ll never forget that I felt I wasn’t alone. I felt I was being watched. Not by any human eyes but by eyes I cannot see only feel. It is a scary feeling to have the realization that life is like a flame on a candle and can be blow out faster than a blink. It is not being near death that makes me feel my life is being watched it is how I live my life that makes me feel I am being watched.