JCCC Letter

You left me here to wait for you...as you run around and run errands at JCCC. Sitting in the corner waiting for you to return with that smile and the words...'Okay I am back' I am waiting for you to appear right around the corner. I look outside the glass eager and ready to see you. Again I am a kid and I wait for Santa clause. I figured as I wait for you I can write you a letter...and let you know how much I miss you. I still don't see you yet...and I frown. My eyes look and graze people and women looking for details of you. Light skin....long hair....curves...all these details my eyes hunt for in the people that pass by my window. In hopes that it will be you.I stand to get a better view of where I last saw you. A better view of where you walked away from my eyes. I close my eyes to get a better view of you.And yet....When I open them you are still gone.I miss you already.I again feel like a kid waiting for Santa.

Though it feels like I have overslept on the 24th and have to wait a whole year again.I miss you.And even though you are only right down the way...right down the hall....I miss you.I don't have any music playing as I peck at my phone trying to forget that I don't have my pen to transfer my emotions onto. I use the silence of other peoples lives as music. I sit and I type. I sit and I look out the window. I sit and I wait. And no one else matters. The people live around me but the only reason I know they are there is because I know they aren't you.I give them my eyes only long enough to know it is not you...then I pluck my eyes from them and focus on you. Even though you are no where around.I grow worried. You are at.....You just called. You gave me the option of leaving my glass post and going to the library. I turned that down.

You asked me to wait here for you. I am to sit by and wait for you to return. So that is what I will do. Through the phone call I find out that I am to stand guard at the glass post for at least 15 minutes. Which really means 30 minutes. A girl walks up to the glass window I have been peering through, she blocks my way but I don't care....I have time to burn peering out my window, so I stare at her. She stands and smokes a cig. I am forced to give her my eyes. She blocks my way. Grey sweater mopped hair...real manly look about the face. She stands and shifts her weight to her left leg before blowing smoke out of her body. She paces around the trash can. Inhales the smoke of her cig and stand up straight. She turns and her eyes catch mine. And I look in her. She looks at me. Keeping the correct social norms she looks away and blows out more steam before abandoning her cig and walking away.I can see now. But I don't see you. I don't look up as much anymore. I have a long wait. I am starting to feel the full length of 15 minutes. I am starting to.....More people.

A man and a women. The man has a hat. Black hat with symbols that look like new York. They talk. The women shifts her body to him and they talk. The smoke they blow between words flies away toward the glass. My glass. If I had not the glass in front of me the smoke would also carry their words to me.I am bored...and my fingers hurt but I still cannot see you. Why do you make me wait so? I lose time by looking out the window sitting and staring at the walls outside. If I stare at the red brick walls long enough will you jump out? Will I finally get to see you again? I should try. Distractions! Two girls come and sit next to me. They come and bring giggles and talks of Portuguese wine to my lonely glass post. I ignore them...and my eyes race around in the sky trying to speed time. I turn and I face outside. I should see you now. Haven't my eyes danced in the sky long enough? I turn and I type. My head drops and my eyes dart only to make sure that 'a' is being typed and not 'e'.

I still do not see you. I am afraid I will fall asleep at my post. I am here to watch for you...yet my arms ache and my back demands to be un slouched. I start to think back and wonder...I am stuck here. I need you to leave...Why did you leave me? Ugh! He is in the way! What if he is in the way when you come? Then I won't see you. He has a red book bag and further blocks my view of you. And you aren't even their. He talks on the phone un moved and un concerned that he bothers me so. He smokes and talks...he looks at me. He can see how my head jolts up every 2 to 6 seconds. He knows I look outside. He blocks my way.And then he walks and my eyes try and race around him and see you.You are not their.

My eyes crash to the ground and I grow bored with boredom.That's you! That's the black...No,She is far away and she wears a black hoodie. In my boredom and excitement to see you I mistook someone else for you. She doesn't even have the brown hair...the light skin...the curves. I got my hopes up. You are still gone. The colors in the red wall seem to change depending on the brick. Some don't even seem red. They seem purple. Maybe even brown. My eyes and mind work as one to find a pattern in the brown purple and red brick wall. It seems to be in some kind of order....