A Self portrait

A self portrait in art is one of the hardest and truest things an artist can do. I am reminded of a painting I admire. The name of the artist escapes me, but in the painting he held a glass sphere and drew himself holding a glass ball with one hand and drawing with the other. The picture was black and white and skewed in the circular view of the glass ball. To me the picture is genius and shows brilliant awareness of not only himself but his surroundings. I have always wanted to create something like what I saw in that paining, but my hands cannot draw. So I will make up for it by writing a self portrait of myself, slightly skewed in another point of view.

Men:
“He’s so stand-offish. He’ll never introduce himself just go off alone and not want to be bothered. If you try and introduce yourself to him he’ll look at you blankly and mumble some sort of reply and just look bored until you turn away from him. He’s not always like that around his close acquaintances, he talks. They say he’s very loyal and is always the same person to them, so at one point he was a jerk to them too, you just have to get to know him they say. He never talks to women, it’s not because he’s shy. He never seems shy, he just seems to avoid talking to them, I’ve never seen him hold conversation with any female unless he is asked to. People have to ask him to be nice to other people. He’s a complete mystery no one really knows anything about him, everyone shares the opinion that he can be very mean, but they all say he’s really smart and really funny. It just all depends on how well you know him. Privately he is one of the most articulate and educated young men they know he is always respectful, I have never heard him speak bad or talk about someone behind there back He’d be more popular if he smiled more and talked more. He doesn’t seem to care about being liked; he is secure in himself, he likes being different. If one is able to get it out of him you find out that there is much more to that stand-offish young man than meets the eye. He talks and acts as if he is protecting something, and he says he has a dream. He is always so well dressed, he’s the always the first to be seen in a crowd of people. He balances a well kept imagine and a sense of uncaring all at the same time. I bet he’ll be famous one day. One of those people that does something important, someone that comes along and re-writes the bible.”

Women:
“Sometimes I see him off to himself writing in notebook, or smoking outside with a small notepad in his hand. He always seems to be busy writing. He never ever talks or looks like he wants to make friends. Sometimes I catch him looking at me, but it’s not an interested look, it’s more of the way someone looks at a pet that has just walked in the room, just noticing their existence. People say he’s like that to everybody and not to take it personal, but it’s just rude of him. I watched as he talked in a circle around his friends a girl came into the circle with the intent of talking to him and he just looked at her then kept talking as if she wasn’t around. She called for his attention but he never looked her way, and all his friends sort of just accepted that he was ignoring her. I asked and nobody knows why he did that, not even the girl. I’ve seen him smoke in groups and sometimes he reads books while smoking weed, I saw him thank a girl after she smoked her weed with him. She got excited about that as if that was something special. He does talk more after smoking and when he does talk you can tell he’s really smart. I watched a girl sit next to him while smoking with him and said ‘I feel like I’m sitting next to a college professor or something’. Everybody, even the people he’s rude to, seem to respect him in some weird way. Even the girls that he acts so rudely to, they still try and talk to him. He’s cute and all has a really gorgeous smile, I bet if he smiled more he’d be even cuter. Around everybody else his age he seems really mature and well thought out. He seems the type of guy you would marry, not date, he seems like he would be really picky about what type of girl he hangs around. Maybe that’s the reason he doesn’t like talking to women, he just hasn’t found the one he likes.”

Handful of Women:
“Oh my god he is so prideful. He won’t accept anything; you have to force him to take it. But at the same time he’ll give you the shirt of his back and expect you to think nothing of it. I always feel he will do anything for me. He has such a way with words, the way he writes letters and says romantic things…
He needs a lot of reassurance though; he is insecure about something’s but it not like he lacks confidence. Anything with English or writing he feels he is the best at. He’s really weird though, in a good way, but still weird. Just the way he thinks and the way he remembers things. He can recall a conversation by the things he saw going on around him, and he uses that all the time to prove you wrong. Sometimes I am afraid to talk because if I make a mistake I know he will remember and use it against me. He is always affectionate and wants to cuddle a lot. He is very hardheaded. He can’t be told something he has to live through it to learn from it. He can be stubborn at times a little controlling but he’s surprisingly submissive. If you upset him you’ll never know it, he’ll just stop talking to you one day and you have to figure out what you’ve done wrong. I’ve never really seen him show his anger to me he doesn’t really yell he just talks more forcefully and lets the feeling show in his eyes. He can get a little jealous nothing annoying, he doesn’t like to hear about other men. He will retract from conversation quickly if offended, he just stops talking and all of a sudden you realize you’re the only one talking. You have to poke and prod him for information. He won’t tell you why he’s upset unless you ask him at least five times. He can be manipulative sometimes, and that’s where he can get controlling. He knows he has a cute smile and will use it and his slick tongue to get what he wants. He’s a slick fast talker, and he’s not afraid to talk you into something. He’s really mature for his age, and understands and knows things you wouldn’t expect a man his age to. You always get the feeling his is very special and will be a great man; you just wonder who will be the special and lucky lady that will be with him.”