Looking back on Posts

[Orginally posted on Facebook]

I was just recently looking through my list of notes and all the work I have done and posted on facebook. I was thinking about all the work I cannot find, scraps of paper I have forever lost and notebooks that sit with other people.

Rarely do I let my self sit back and think about all that I have written, because I always end up realizing that I have little to show for my efforts, at present it seems little more than a hobby. However I wont allow that fact to lead me to a public flogging of myself. Neither do I wish to gloat.

Its just that even with all that I have written all the work yet to come, I still feel as I don’t full have my direction. Sometimes I wanna be a poet, sometimes I wanna direct, and other times I just want to sit and listen to music and write lyrics. No doubt that this all revolves around words and creativity. No doubt I am an artist, but what kind?

I suppose that’s why I like people like Hughes. They show that you can be a multi talented artist and make no apologies or explanations. I think that Hughes would consider himself more poet than anything else, I don’t know what I would call myself, more than anything else. For now the term of ‘writer’ fits well enough. I have done so much work that it begs to be mentioned that some of it just wont be ‘discovered’ until I die.

This face book is more like a diary or log if you will, of my progress as artist and individual. One day I will be better know, I am sure curious people will want to know where it started, what I was saying and like before it all started. No matter how much books try to tell me these thoughts are nothing but delusions of grandeur and me being a sociopath, I feel in my heart that I have a message to carry and I’m getting ready to take the stage.

You know the bit…all the worlds a stage and all the people merely actors. Maybe my part is not up for a while, but I don’t think myself delusional to believe I have a speaking part in this world.